I won’t lie, I was bragging. Having just completed a
two-week trip packing only a carry-on, I was detailing the contents. Mentioning
that I had packed only three pairs of underwear, it took no time at all for
someone to ask the obvious question:
Do whut? (Tranlated from Southernese, that’s ‘do what?’ It
means, ‘what the heck did you just say?’)
Obviously, this person wanted to question my personal
hygiene. At first blush, three pairs of drawers for a fourteen day trip seems
an indicator that a person might think they poop sunshine and roses. I get it.
Allow me to explain.
First of all, I am the prime minister of packing. Not only
did I pack clothes, the same suitcase contained my wife’s cosmetics, a CPAP
machine, and since we would be visiting a country where wine is dominant, I
packed a bottle of good bourbon.
There are tricks to packing. Let’s start with the bourbon.
Glass is dead weight and breakable. A plastic flask is light and flexible. I
take the additional step of wrapping the flask in a gallon-sized baggie in case
there’s leakage.
I will confirm that with this amount of liquid, a carry-on
cannot be carried on an airplane. It becomes checked luggage.
So if you’re going to check it, why not pack a full-sized
suitcase, then? This trip would have many stops, and I didn’t want to lug
around any more baggage than necessary. Plus, being an international flight,
the bag was checked for free.
You’re asking the right questions, though.
Having been involved in the 4-H program for many years, my
wife learned – and taught me - how to ‘pack for camp’ (roll clothes instead of
folding). You can fit a lot of
tightly-rolled clothes in a suitcase. In fact, I didn’t wear all the clothes I
took. I still over-packed!
Helpful hint: you can always pack less. I re-learn that
every time we travel.
But back to the underwear thing.
I am an underwearist. An expert in the subject. The original
Captain Underpants. In my underwear is how I spend most of my time. I suspect
that’s also the cause of several failed relationships, but that’s getting off
the point.
I quit college because they didn’t offer an undie-ology
degree. So I set out seeking knowledge on my own.
For the uninitiated, there is truly such a thing as travel
underwear. They are made of fabric designed to dry quickly and, in some cases,
actually wick moisture away from the body. (Leakage, for now, is confined to
the flask. Assume that moisture is sweat.)
Two brands I can recommend and own myself: ExOfficio and
Magellan. They are two different kinds of fabric, but both wear well. The
Magellan brand is a micro-fiber. A traveling companion on this trip complained
about his micro-fiber undies. I didn’t get it. They are oh-so-soft and offer
good support for… uh… the, uh, things that might need supporting.
(Side note: if you wear regular boxers, stop. Yeah, you may
look cooler sitting around the house than you would in briefs, but hear me on
this: gravity isn’t just for women. Consider yourself warned.)
While traveling, every couple of days, grab your underwear
from the day before and, perhaps still wearing the pair you wore today, hop
into the shower. Soap or shampoo does a nice job of cleaning clothes, when
required. Hang them up and the next day, you’re starting all over, fresh for
the next few days.
Note that it is important to get all the soap out. Failure
to do so, along with air-drying them, will lead to owning undergarments you can
use as a night stand.
Full disclosure: I wrote this while sitting in my underwear.