(Parts of) The World Explained

What brings us together today is responsibly-sourced beeswax.

Did you just ask me what that is?

Surely you have seen the lip balm commercial for a certain product that is made from such wax. And surely, like me, you’ve asked, WTF?!?

(WTF stands for ‘water the flowers.’ Unless you’re in a Mexican restaurant. Then it’s code for ‘where’s the fajitas?’)

A quick word on why responsibly-sourced beeswax is even a thing:

We now live in an ESG world. That’s Environmental, Social and Governance.

Most companies have an ESG person or department to make sure the company is either doing the right things or appearing to do the right things. That is, being environmentally responsible, making sure not to hurt anyone’s feelings and pretending they care.

Turns out, when it comes to harvesting wax for ESG lip balm, there’s a manual. A secret manual that I have been given privileged access to.

Responsibly-sourced beeswax:

• wax will not be taken from the hive without first asking the bees for permission to harvest it.

• wax will be taken only from hives that are compliant with labor laws. If bees are required to work more that 40 hours a week or to work through their lunch break, that wax is rejected.

• wax must be produced by caring and sharing bees, not greedy bees that take ALL the pollen from flowers without leaving any behind for their fellow bees. (That’s an ESG violation, so you’ll know.)

• wax must not be from the hives of killer bees. (Honeybee mafia=bad.)

I would like to conclude today by noting that this blog is free. But in this single story, I’ve just explained both the meaning of ‘mind your beeswax’ and ‘WTF.’

Surely, you will understand if one day I start charging for this stuff.