Discover This: You're An Idiot
I started not to share this one.
It will be my second consecutive story on financial foolishness. Anyone who knows me well knows I’m really pretty good with money.
Usually.
Dumb comes creeping in sometimes.
The newest adventure begins with needing a new circular saw and the decision to go cordless. All the cool kids are going to battery-powered tools, and I’m nothing if not cool.
Plus, it would be nice to not have to fritz with a cord, and invariably, an extension cord stretching across the garage or deck.
First rule of switching over to battery-powered tools, according to everyone, is to choose a single brand so that batteries can perhaps be interchangeable, and you won’t need to have 40 different chargers.
The fact that I own 2 cordless blowers, one a DeWalt and the other a Stihl, should be a dead giveaway I haven’t paid a bit attention to the first rule.
We also have a Makita drill set and a Milwaukee orbiting tool, both cordless. We could start a battery charger museum.
But it’s finally time to make a good decision and choose a saw that can share a battery with something we already have.
In the store, a giant sign indicates a cordless Ryobi is on sale for $99.
Good price, but I have nothing else cordless by Ryobi, so that’s only going to give me yet another charger.
I select a Makita saw. It is not $99.
It’s $239. That’s a lot.
I could get two of those Ryobi saws and still not spend $239. But the Makita can share batteries with my drill set, and isn’t that what I’m trying to accomplish?
Bonus: it’s an LXT Brushless saw.
I think that means Linguini eXtra Tomato, and you don’t have to brush your teeth after using it.
So yeah, I’m thinking I can make it worth the money.
Back at home with my new toy - and having spent more than twice what was necessary - here comes DISCOVERY #1:
Your new battery-powered saw doesn’t come with a battery.
Look at the box, stupid. It says on literally every side, INCLUDES TOOL ONLY. What that means is, there ain’t no battery.
Oh, wait! Isn’t the whole point that it can share batteries with my Makita drill?
Yessss!
No.
The drill is 12-volt, the saw is 18-volt. Different size batteries, not compatible.
My beautiful brain starts whirring. What if I take this back and get the cheaper Ryobi?
“Hang on,” says BB (beautiful brain), “you’ve bought the saw. Just go get the dang battery and be done with it. No big deal.”
I love you, BB.
Back inside the store, looky here. There’s a battery two-pack.
Oops. Yes, big deal.
Battery 2-pack, $279? Whoa.
Think for a minute… Yeah, it’s expensive, but you know you’re going to need a backup battery. Just do it.
I just did it.
Took the batteries home, ripped them out of their packaging and made DISCOVERY #2, which should have already been discovered:
If the batteries for the drill and the saw are different, the chargers are going to be different. And if we go back to the box that says INCLUDES TOOL ONLY, what that means is, not only is there no battery, there’s also no battery charger.
Now, before we go back to the store - again! - and spend even more money buying a charger, what say we take a deep breath or two and rethink this whole thing.
We bought it from one of the big box stores; they take stuff back pretty liberally. Can we just start over? Perhaps with that $99 Ryobi saw?
There’s a problem. I threw the saw box away immediately after opening it. It’s gone.
Further, the twin-pack of batteries came in that hard plastic packaging that requires a chainsaw to cut open, and it’s gone. Destroyed.
What all that means is, I can’t return anything in its original packaging. No choice but to go back to the store and buy a charger.
Crap.
In the store again, our next discovery: there is no charger.
Let me clarify. There is a charger, but it’s packaged with a battery. And that will run you…
$229.
You gotta be kidding me.
I found an ‘associate.’ Associate tells me I can indeed get just the charger, but they don’t carry them in-store. You have to order them.
For $108.
I’m getting wallet-fatigue just telling this story.
Yeah, I went to the desk and ordered one.
So let’s do some quick math…
A $239 stupid saw
+ $279 stupid batteries
+ $108 stupid battery charger
= $626
That’s the equivalent of six saws on sale had I gone Ryobi. All because I didn’t want another charger. Which I wound up having to buy, anyway.
Genius.
My wife and I don’t have children, but we are starting the adoption process. This cordless saw has become our most valuable asset.
We need someone to leave this thing to in our will.
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Read my previous story of financial wizardry here. And if you’d like these stories to arrive in your inbox, hit the ‘subscribe’ button below. Costs you nothing, I make nothing, it’s worth nothing. We’re here to have fun.