Prime Time Fool
Amazon Prime Days were killer. For Amazon, for my pocketbook.
I understand they made record cash. A lot of it was mine.
“Alexa, where’s my stuff?”
“You have two new packages arriving today. Six packages are arriving tomorrow. Six more packages are expected to arrive on Wednesday…”
Y’all, we’re still getting packages.
But I needed the new Barenaked Ladies CD. I needed a new meat thermometer. New footie socks, a golf cart fan, closet light, portable phone charger…
Someone else in this house bought shoes. And a bra. And bath salts.
We got new folding chairs. They came with ‘assembly instructions.’
Assembly instruction: unfold.
Seriously necessary stuff.
Several years ago, a friend posted something intended to be silly:
No, you don’t need anything from Amazon today!
My response was that I certainly did. So, she playfully suggested a motion-detector toilet bowl light.
Best. Thing. Ever.
Oh, I bought it because it was cheap and goofy. But it was nothing short of serendipity!
The way our bedroom and bathroom are aligned, I can roll out of bed, take two steps and be at my bathroom door. The moment I hit the door, the bowl lights up. No need for turning on any other lights.
Is this a great time to be alive or what?
I always thought when I saw that miracle light thingy it would come from above, not a toilet. But I doubt I will never NOT have a toilet light again.
Here we are 4 or 5 years later, and that little light has finally crapped out. (See what I did there? Toilet light? Crapped out?)
Prime Days arrived just in time to save me.
Butt somehow (sorry, couldn’t help it), some way, some thing happened in my Amazon surfing that put me in the underwear section. I don’t really think I was looking for underwear, but there I was.
Are you familiar with Amazon Essentials? It’s Amazon-branded stuff and typically offered at the best prices.
I’ve bought Amazon Essentials before but usually something like a new computer mouse or wine glasses.
Well, there’s Amazon Essential underwear. And during Prime Days, it was cheap.
Stop.
Tibby, is cheap Amazon underwear really what you want?
Apparently, it was.
So my 5-pack of undies has arrived. And one pair has pineapples on it.
I’m trying to figure why. Underwear… pineapples… am I missing something?
Why not a piano. A tennis racket. An airplane. How about a hot dog? That would at least be whimsical!
But no, someone in the design department said, “Hey, let’s do vertical stripes, horizonal stipes, some solid colors…. and pineapples.”
And I bought ‘em.
Unexpected story bonus: You’ve just seen me in my underwear.