blessings

I understand blessings. I’m the Tibby Lama.

Being the Tibby Lama is like being the great and powerful Oz. I’m a knower of stuff and a doer of things.

A thing I do is give my people my blessings. It’s what lamas do and it makes people feel good.

Side note: I’m occasionally asked what the difference is between a ‘lama’ and a ‘llama.’ A lama is a spiritual leader, a llama is a stinky animal.

I can go either way.

To the subject of blessings, there is a fair amount of misunderstanding, as I will point out.

SOMEBODY WANT TO BLESS THIS?

Common words at mealtime, at least in the south. What we’re doing, however, is asking for a blessing.

‘Bless this food we are about to receive… bless this food to the nourishment of our bodies…’ etc. We are asking for the Lord’s blessing on our meal, not blessing it ourselves.

BLESS YOU

You sneeze, somebody blesses you. Dumb.

A sneeze is an involuntary reaction to an irritant. It doesn’t need blessing.

Also, you don’t need to ‘excuse me’ after you sneeze. It’s pretty much something you can’t help and can’t stop.

That said, some bodily functions are probably best followed by an ‘excuse me.’ Or at least a sheepish grin. (See previous llama reference.)

I’M BLESSED

This one is interesting because we consider ourselves blessed under some pretty awful circumstances.

“Yeah, so the plane’s engine just cut out on me. But I was blessed to see a long stretch of road where I could set it down. Too bad I didn’t see that freight train coming down the tracks. Big collision, fireball… destroyed the plane, derailed the train. I lost a leg, knocked out all my teeth and have a steel plate in my head. Spent two years in a coma, three more years in rehab just learning what my name is. Still can’t walk, don’t recognize my mama nor that woman who lives with me, which doesn’t really matter ‘cause I’m blind from the explosion and can’t see ‘em anyway. But I’m just so blessed I’m still here.”

HAVE A BLESSED DAY

I’m not a big fan of this one. It always feels contrived, like the person is looking for something cute or clever to say.

But I hear it a lot, especially at my favorite drive-through chicken place. Honestly, though, anytime I’m driving away with Chick-fil-A in my hand, I am indeed having a blessed day. Ain’t nobody got to say nothing.

O, happy day!

I have an idea. Instead of wishing someone a blessed day, let’s start saying ‘have a naked day.’

First of all, no one would be expecting that, so it would be fun.

Secondly, don’t most people like being naked? So even if they didn’t go straight home and undress, they’d probably spend a fair amount of time thinking about it.

Gee, what if I just went home and got naked?

Besides, even with the blessings of the Great Lama, a blessed day is not a sure thing. It is simply the hope for one.

Nakedidity can be guaranteed. You can always take your clothes off.

I’m blessed we spent this time together. No need for you to thank me; this kind of big thinking is probably what you should expect from the Tibby Lama.

Bless you and have a naked day!